Thứ Tư, 12 tháng 10, 2016

Your Mama Jokes So Ugly Ever

Your Mama Jokes So Ugly Ever



Yo momma so ugly that most Snapchat filters make her better looking. 

Yo mama so ugly people from New Orleans are giving her money . 

Yo mama so ugly I told her to take out the trash and she moved out of my house 

Yo mama so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning. 

Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." 

Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower 

Yo Mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye. 

Yo Mama So Ugly, when she watches TV, the channels change themselves!. 

Yo mama so fat and ugly when she play Mortal Kombat, Scorpion said "Stay over there" 

Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. 

Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras 

Yo mama so ugly, when she looked in the mirror and said, "Bloody Mary three times."Bloody Mary put up sign said out of business" 

Yo mamas so ugly she's the reason why Sonic the Hedgehog runs 

Yo mama so ugly One Direction went the other way! 

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her 

Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?" 

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. 

Yo mom so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest they said you should be a judge 

Yo mama so ugly when there was a fire, the fireman carried her out, looked at her, and put her back in. 

Yo mama so ugly her portraits hang themselves! 

Yo mama is so ugly she walked in a restaurant the grade from the health inspector went from an A to a Z. Yo Mama is so ugly that not even CSI could solve that mystery. 

Yo momma so fat and ugly she made "One Direction" change their name to "Opposite Direction". 

Yo mama is so ugly that even Scooby Doo couldn't solve that mystery. 

yo mamma so ugly even Ripley wont believe it 

Yo momma so ugly she got a cease and decist letter from Sear's photography. 

yo mama so ugly when she lookes in the mirror Micheal Jackson sings beat it. 

Yo mama so ugly she scared off flavor flav 

yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up 

yo mama so ugly that santa said ho ho holy shit 

Yo mama so ugly must have been born on a highway because that is where most accidents happen. 

Yo momma so ugly her bodywash is CLR: Calcium, Lime, and Rust 

yo mama is so ugly, I put pictures of her on my car to prevent my radio from getting stolen. 

Yo mama so ugly she scared the shit out of the toilet
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Thứ Hai, 3 tháng 10, 2016

The funniest yo mama jokes ever told

The funniest yo mama jokes ever told 




Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, the homeless give it back.

Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.

Yo Mamas so stupid she was yelling into the mailbox.  We ask her whats she doing and she said, she was sending a voice-mail.

Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!

Yo mamma so ugly even Bob the Builder said, "We cant fix it."

Yo momma so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

Yo momma so stupid that she brought a ruler to bed to see how long she could sleep.

Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!

Yo mamma so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.

Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.

Yo mamma is so fat, she got hit by a car and said: Who threw that rock???

Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.

Yo momma so fat when she went to the circus the little girl asked if she could ride the elephant.

Yo Momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.

Your mamas so skinny she swallowed a meatball n thought she was pregnant.

Yo mama is so fat, the army used her pants for a parachute.

Yo momma so fat, she fell into a black hole and it clogged!

Yo mama so ugly when she went to the bathroom, she scared the shit out of the toilet.

Yo mama so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

Yo momma’s so ugly, the army doesn’t use guns any more – they use her picture.

Yo mama is so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mamma is so fat when she tried to go to McDonald's she tripped over Wendy's and landed on Burger King.

Your momma so fat... I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama so stupid she tried to make an appointment with Dr.pepper

Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.

Yo momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car!

Yo momma so dumb she threw a ball at the ground and missed.

Yo mama is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping out the basement window.

Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.

Your momma so fat when she step on the scales her phone number came up.
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Thứ Ba, 27 tháng 9, 2016

Yo Mama's So Dark--Best Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama's so dark




Yo mama's so dark every time she gets in a car the check oil light comes on

Yo mama's so dark if she sat in a jacuzy the water turned into coffee

Yo mama's so dark she went to night school and got marked absent

Yo mama's so dark she bleeds smoke

Yo mama's so dark she drinks water and pees coffee.

Yo mama's so dark she went to night school and was marked absent.

Yo mama's so dark that lightening bugs follow her in the daytime

Yo mama's so dark I shot her and the bullets came back with flashlights saying "I can't find the bitch"

Yo mama so dark her blood type is burnt

Yo mama's so dark, she could show up naked to a funeral.

Yo mama's so dark, when she puts on yellow lipstick, she looks like a cheese burger.

Yo mama's so dark, she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

yo mama so dark when she eats chocolate cake she has to put white gloves on.

Yo mama's so dark, her ass looks like two tires.

Yo mama's so dark and large when she walked past the window we lost four days of sunlight.

Yo mama so dark she blend in with the chalkboard

Yo mama's so dark, she looks like a picture of outer-space with no stars.

Yo mama's so dark, when she goes outside street lights turn on.

yo momma is so dark, when you wrap her in plastic she looks like soy sauce.

Yo mama's so dark, she got her tattoo done in chalk.

yo mama so dark she got a PHD in Hide-N-Seek

Yo momma so dark you cant see when shit comes out of her crack.

Yo momma so dark, her nickname is darker because nothing is darker than yo momma.

Yo momma so dark when she got out the car the oil light came on

yo momma so dark her nickname was and is midnight

Yo mama's so dark, if she had a red light she'd be a beeper.

yo mama is so dark when she jumped into the pool the pool said sorry i don't drink coke

Yo momma is so dark Wesley Snipes, Don Cheadle, and Jessie Lawrence Fergueson fight to call her momma.

Yo mama's so dark, she was riding a motorcycle and got a ticket for tinted windows.

Yo mama's so dark she looks like a satellite picture of North Korea at night.

"Your mama so dark, when you go shopping with her on Fridays, you'll always get 75% off".

Yo Mama so dark she walked into a restaraunt wearing a black shirt, The manager said no shoes, no shirt, no service.

Yo mama so dark, Batman uses her as a backup cape.
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Thứ Bảy, 27 tháng 8, 2016

Yo Mama So Smart--Best Yo Mama Jokes

Yo Mama So Smart


Yo mama so smart people think she's half Asian. 

Yo mama so smart she makes Macgyver look like the village idiot. 

Yo momma so intelligent her brains are as big as her boobs. 

Yo mama so smart she can install an operating system while putting on her makeup. 

Yo momma so smart she said "Lets get High.........Grades on that test today." 

Yo mama so intelligent, she's the only person that can talk down to Stephen Hawking. 

Yo momma so smart she broke Ken Jennings record for being the "Worlds Biggest Smartass" 

Yo momma so smart she got into a respectable college. 

Yo mama's so smart she learned to rollover and beg in one day. 

Yo mama so smart, Doctors let her second guess their diagnosis. 

Yo mama so smart, she doesn't know the meaning of hard work because everything comes easy for her. 

Yo Momma so smart, she went to Florida State and everyone thought she was a tourist. 

Yo mama so intelligent, that people don't believe she is a blonde. 

Yo momma so smart, I gave her a few balls of yarn and she made a million dollars on Etsy. 

Yo momma so smart and busy, she doesn't use big words because she doesn't have the time to explain it you again. 

Yo mama so smart, no one bothers to argue with her because they know she's always right. 

Yo mama is so well-respected within her profession that I bet she'll get another raise and promotion this year despite the downward trajectory of the economy. 

Yo mama is so intelligent, that she knows yo mama jokes aren't funny. 

Yo mama's so intelligent that she makes me feel inferior when I don't use words good. 

Yo Mama's so wise, that Yoda texts her for advice. 
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Thứ Tư, 17 tháng 8, 2016

Bad Hotel Slogans If Jokes--Best Funny Jokes

Bad Hotel Slogans If 


We'd Known You Were Staying All Night, 

We'd Have Changed the Sheets Not just for nooners anymore. 

Hey, we're not the Ritz, but just try bringing your secretary there on *your* salary, pal! We don't make the adultery. 

We make the adultery *better* Cheap and Easy 

-- Just Like Your Mother We put the "Ho" in "Hotel" 

We're working on that smell thing, too. Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car. 

As seen on "COPS" 
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Chủ Nhật, 14 tháng 8, 2016

Bunny and the Bear Jokes--Funny Jokes Of The Day

Bunny and the Bear 

A bear was chasing this bunny around a forest. They ran into a clearing and were running around a certain huge redwood where a genie lived. 

The genie got so tired of the racket that he finally came out and told the pair that he would grant them 3 wishes a piece if they would just leave him alone. The pair agreed. 

The bear said he would go first. "I wish...that all the bears in this forest were female." The genie granted the wish. 

The bunny just grinned and asked for a helmet. The bear thought that strange but continued. "I wish...that all the bears in this country to be female!" 

The genie granted the wish. The bunny just grinned again and wished for a motorcycle. He jumped on the bike, put on his helmet and started gunning it. 

The bear looked at the bunny and said, "You must be the stupidest bunny I ever met!" Then he asked for his last wish. 

"I wish...that all the bears in this world to be female!" The genie granted the wish. The bunny just grinned and said, "I wish the bear was gay." 
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Thứ Tư, 3 tháng 8, 2016

Yo Mama So Chatty--Best Yo Mama Jokes


Yo Mama So Chatty


Yo mama so chatty when she signed into Skype it said "Error: Too Much Information" 

Yo mama so chatty she's the reason, Raj from the Big Bang Theory doesn't talk to women. 

Yo momma so chatty that even Whitney Cummings became annoyed. 

Yo mamma so chatty her parents must have been siblings. 

Yo mama so chatty, the only place she's ever invited is outside. 

Yo momma so chatty she went through 7 sets of foster parents, because she kept talking them to death. 

Yo mama so chatty, I'll never forget the time we first met, although I'll keep trying. 

Yo mama so chatty, her voice box died when she was 5! Yo mama so chatty that I don't just think she's annoying... I think she might also be... insane. 

yo mama so chatty that her parents legally emancipated her the first chance they got. 

Yo mama so chatty, that if ignorance is bliss, then she must be the happiest person alive. 

Yo mamma so chatty that if she killed every person that haters her, it wouldn't be murder it would be genocide. 

Yo mama so chatty, I gave her a quarter and told her to call all her friends and she brought back change. 

Yo mama so chatty, even the pastor tries to avoid her. Yo mama so chatty her nickname is Blabbermouth. 
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